Pregnant.

     Yesterday I found out I am finally pregnant. It went like this. This September, Matt and I went on a wonderful vacation to Kirk Creek [car camping in our usual place] and then a couple nights a new place where we slept in an awesome  sibley tent. Now I am making Matt build one with me. Anyways, back to baby making. We went up there to begin a family, both mentally and physically. Woohoo!
  
 Well, we kept on it for a few weeks and I really didn't think I was pregnant. But there was strange symptoms that was not my usually body yelling at me. Usually, before my period I turn a little crazy and mean, and don't see my nastiness till I hurt someone. Which I really need to take responsibility for.

     This week, I have been feeling very nice and loving. Also, a strange pinch around my ovaries that usually only happens during my ovulation, which was way too early. The last symptom that pushed me over the edge to finally buy a pregnancy test was my visit to American Red Cross. I had an appointment to donate blood. The lady took my temperature. It was 99.7, I was confused and shocked. Thought it was the free watermelon jolly rancher creating heat from friction. LOL. Really Vicky! She took it again and it only went down 1 degree.

     As I was losing blood, I used my one free hand to look up raised temperature and pregancy. And, what do you know! The only two symptons that occur before the real symptoms are ovulation sensations and a high temperature for the first 18 days of pregnancy.

     Picked up a test on my way home. Alone in my bathroom, freaking the bleep out!! Cried with a huge smile and CALLED MY MOM! Couldn't tell Matt till he got home and had to someone get him home via strange texts becuase if I talking to him I would lose it. So to waste some time. I go buy an iced DECAF american and a pound of DECAF Verona. YUCK! But it wasn't terrible. Well, he get's home and my heart is pounding. How do I tell him? This is not what I planned! Do I play it cool? Do I freak out? Well, it's now and he walks in the door and I hand him the TWO tests I took.

     Matt really didn't understand what he was looking at. And then he GOT IT! He hugged and hugged and hugged me!! I thought he was going to pass out. He needed to sit down.

So for the next hour we did our rounds of calls and Facebook posts, while Matt stared into the center of the room. He couldn't believe it, so we went to HarborFreight and HomeDepot.

Came home, made spaghetti, watched House on Haunted Hill with Vincent Price. And fell fast asleep.

It was new day.

I have to be honest.

My fears

• that he/she won't survive and I'll have to tell everyone. 
• that my symptons will get the best of me.
• will I be ready?
• will my chemicals roller coaster make Matt hate me.
• can I carry this extra weight?
• will I strengthen enough?
• will I keep my life in perspective?
• will my priorites stay the same? no.

Knowing all my fears and stating them will really help me.

But there is a real joy from the whole reality of my love for Matt and starting a family with him.
He is my best friend and my mate for life. I love him. He will be the best father.

I have to get ready for work now. But stay tuned for more. I'll have a lot to say.

Vicky.